Sitting with my coffee, overlooking the beach in Mexico I'm struck by a realization about the family I'm watching. The family has hired a photographer who is meticulously directing them in their family portraits. He's had the head couple walk down the beach, hold hands and walk towards him at least 3 times. The matriarch couple is wearing matching blue linen outfits, and as they walk towards him it's all gazing smiles and hand holding. When the camera stops clicking they drop hands and head back to the starting point to do it all over again.
The rest of the pictures are what you would expect. Coordinating outfits of blue, white and beige tones and lots of laughing and smiling along a beautiful beach background. Exactly what I would expect and probably want if I were taking family pictures on the beach.
What strikes me is that if I ever got a Christmas card with their picture on it, I would only see the couple holding hands and smiling. I wouldn't see them trudging through the sand and back to the starting point over and over again. I would never see them drop hands as soon as the photographer was done. I would only see exactly the image that the beach family wanted to project.
And there is nothing wrong with this image. Smiles, carefree and happy. Isn't that what we all want to feel?
What it leaves me thinking about is the pictures that I most treasure. I love candid images that capture the essence of the person, and that particular moment in time. Whether I'm at a party or hosting a dinner, I love to pull my camera out and take candid shots. What invariably happens is that as soon as someone sees a camera they stop and pose. We all know how to 'picture smile' and most of us know what side is our best. At least most women do. We know how to hold our arms to make them look thinner, and what angle looks best in shots. Camera, pause, pose.
I am no different. When someone wants to take a picture with me in it, I do all of the above, plus hold in my stomach. God forbid I let it look like it does the other 1439 minutes of a given day. The image I want to project does not include a stomach pouch. I remember my mom telling me that even as a kid I had my camera smile and pose ready.
We are also the generation of selfies. All posed, tightly focused pictures of a moment in time. For the record, I love a good selfie and I appreciate having a picture to commemorate the moment. My favorite pictures though will always be the ones where the subject in the picture is unaware of the camera.
One of my favorite pictures of my husband is of him enjoying a cigar on our back patio. He has this look of peace and tranquility on his face that I've never seen captured in any posed picture. In contrast, the picture I took of him on our wedding day is him smiling at the camera, and I love that one too. They are just very different pictures with different glimpses into the person that he is and I appreciate them both.
What I think we need is more of the candid snapshots of our lives. The snapshots that show the glimpses into our soul that a posed picture could never capture. We won't stop taking selfies or posing for pictures, that just isn't who we are today. Maybe though, just maybe we might be brave enough to allow ourselves to be tagged in a picture of ourselves that isn't perfect and doesn't have a sucked in flat stomach. xox
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